


Need The Sun To Break

by Sephirron



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Azure Moon - Freeform, Blood and Violence, Crimson Flower, F/F, Post-Time Skip, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, no beta we die like Glenn, silver snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:27:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24836107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sephirron/pseuds/Sephirron
Summary: “Byleth, why are you crying?” she asked gently, worry lacing the soft timbre.The tears just fell faster now as she gripped onto Edelgard’s shirt, her ring catching the moonlight in its fullest.“This isn’t real,” Byleth whimpered, grip tightening. “Is it?”ORByleth dreams for five years after her fall at Garreg Mach - from nightmares to alternate timelines, losing Edelgard in every instance. Upon her return to the Black Eagles, she begins to lose her grip on what's real anymore, wondering if this Edelgard will disappear just like the others.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 12
Kudos: 209





	Need The Sun To Break

**Author's Note:**

> All aboard the Edeleth angst train! 
> 
> I always wondered what Byleth dreamt about during the 5 year time skip or if she dreamt at all, or the fact that she doesn't seem to have any issue with suddenly opening her eyes to a completely different world.
> 
> Here's my take on it! We go through White Clouds > Azure Moon > Silver Snow > Crimson Flower. 
> 
> If you would like additional pain: Need The Sun To Break by James Bay is the music inspo (:
> 
> Enjoy!

There was a loud roar and a large shadow the size of a tower looming over her. She saw a blinding light and suddenly the ground beneath her gave way and she felt herself falling, grasping at empty air. Over her own screams she saw another flash of white and a blush of purple, the call of “Professor!” piercing the air through the drumming of the rubble around her.

She didn’t remember hitting the ground, she only remembered the dark.

“Hey. Time to wake up.”

Goddess, her head hurt. It didn’t help the shaking on her shoulder didn’t relent either. Wincing, Byleth opened her eyes, blinking rapidly, the world coming into focus once again. The face of her father coming into clear view and she nearly screamed.

“Were you having that dream again?”

_D-dream?_ Byleth thought. She winced again, brushing her fingers against her temple, the intense pain almost too much to bear. She pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes, flashes of white and roars in her ears were the only memory she could recall. She remembered a war starting and a girl.

“I was dreaming of a war…” Byleth said carefully, not trusting her own words.

“Massive armies clashing on a vast field, right? There hasn’t been a battle like that in over three centuries….”

Byleth held back the shake of her head, because no, that wasn’t it either. Every time she tried to make the picture of the memory clearer, it was as if the pain was locking her out. There wasn’t any time to dwell in it as another mercenary came barging through the door, rapidly reporting of bandits and a group of students.

_Students…_

Her head was throbbing more through the battle, the bandits nothing more than her usual skirmish. She decided she could worry about herself later, as she ran them through with ease, at least finding some comfort in the normalcy of fighting. She watched the bandit leader fall onto his back after a particularly hard blow, and his body didn’t move. Thinking the fight was over, everyone relaxed.

But soon, the bandit jumped to his feet, a look of pure rage on his face as he wielded his axe with a booming battle cry and charged towards the female student.

Byleth found her feet moving on their own will, rushing towards her. The girl drew a dagger and prepared to defend herself against her opponent, jaw clenching in anticipation. She heard the rush of Byleth’s feet slamming against the ground, a look of surprise coming onto her face seeing the blue-haired mercenary running towards her.

“Edelgard!” Byleth shouted, not knowing where the words were born from.

“Wha—?” Edelgard blurted before Byleth shoved her backwards, noting the look of disbelief on Edelgard’s face.

Then the forest disappeared before her eyes. It was no longer night, it was a castle on fire, and she felt like she was falling again. And then she saw the image of Edelgard’s face in anguish, her gloved hand outstretched towards her. She blinked and the image was gone, watching Edelgard stumble onto the forest floor instead. The pain in her head was getting worse.

When the axe tore through her back, the familiar dark took her once again.

***

“Professor? It’s time to wake up, we’re nearing the capital.”

Byleth jolted awake, her eyes rapidly scanning the area around her. She heard the sound of wheels creaking against the path below, the rustle of armor shuffling as they walked. A blonde man with a black eye patch sat across from her, a skeletal lance leaning against him.

“Professor, are you alright?” he asked gently.

Byleth nodded slowly, her head no longer hurting. She let a small sigh in relief, allowing herself to relax for a second. Her fingertips traced the junction of her neck and shoulder, no wound in sight from the axe that struck her down.

_Must’ve been a dream._

“King Dimitri, we have arrived in Enbarr.”

The carriage stopped and Byleth hopped off the back of it, grinding her heels into the road, feeling the solid earth. She naturally gripped the hilt of her sword and regarded the scenery of the capital in its standing glory. Dimitri came up beside her, with his lance in the ground.

“It’s time we put an end to this war,” he said solemnly.

Byleth stiffened at the word. It was then she really took in the scene before her. The gates opened to a cobbled path, lined with extravagant buildings, red and gold banners hanging from the rooves. A double headed eagle emblazoned on each, paving the path to a palace.

The colors felt familiar and it made her tense the whole time they fought a bloody path to heavy ornate doors. The sting in her temple returned, overpowering the pain of all the other cuts and gashes she earned in the fight. When the doors to the palace were thrown open, sunlight crept through stained glass, shining on a towering black husk. Byleth felt her blood run cold as skeletal wings expanded from its body, eyes opening with red glowing irises. White hair like snow cascaded down the sides of its face and her gut twisted so much, it almost made her sick.

“Edelgard…?” she said shakily, voice barely above a whisper. Her emotions confused her, with how strong they were and the fact that she shouldn’t know a name to the beast before her. But when she came face to face with her, a soft voice beneath the monstrous tremble reached out to her and squeezed at her heart.

“Facing you… I grow weak…” Edelgard said regretfully.

Byleth felt her own knees buckle, her breath heaving from exhaustion of battle and a turmoil she couldn’t understand. With a final push, Dimitri pushed through the beast’s defenses and struck her down with a whirling strike of his lance. A shrill shriek filled the palace as the beast fell to the floor, the husk disappearing like the nocturnal mist, leaving a lone emperor.

Dimitri reached his hand out to her and Byleth watched a smile appear on Edelgard’s face. But then she saw her reach quickly within her cape, a sliver of silver unsheathing.

Byleth reached her hand out towards the fallen girl. “Edelgard, don’t—”

And then it was too late. The dagger pierced Dimitri’s shoulder but his lance had buried itself in the emperor’s chest, the spatter of blood on her face glittering beneath the sun, and the light fading from her lilac eyes.

Byleth’s whole body ached and the palace seemed to blur in front of her, the bloody heap of the emperor’s body vivid and scorching in her mind. She clenched her eyes tightly, willing the agony to go away, and when she opened them again, it wasn’t Dimitri’s lance that had pierced Edelgard but her own sword.

Her hands shook, the hilt sticky from the blood. Out of pure panic, she withdrew the sword away, throwing it to the ground as if it had burned her. Edelgard stumbled, Byleth catching her by her forearms. The emperor’s head was bowed, the crown slipping. She rose her head weakly and Byleth couldn’t believe the tenderness in them, looking at her as if she cradled the world in her hands, and not torn it apart. With what little light was left in the pools of lavender, she smiled gently through the few tears that spilled at the corners of her eyes.

A whisper. “I wanted… to walk with you.”

Her body slumped against Byleth’s shoulder and Byleth let gravity take her to her knees, holding Edelgard’s still in her lap, not allowing her to fall any further. She quivered on the palace floor, the blood on her face and on her hands, haunting, coating her in guilt.

She didn’t know the reason she cried, yet her body ached in every moment she watched Edelgard fall. She couldn’t remember her face until it was too late, the emotions ramming her all at once.

Tears dripped onto Edelgard’s porcelain cheeks. Byleth loosened the crown and her white hair released from its hold, cascading into her fingertips. She cradled her head and touched her forehead to hers, trembling. Byleth felt so cold, as if she had been left out in the rain. And in that moment, she remembered holding her father this way, the storm at her back, willing to drown and wash her away.

The thought made her bite her lip so hard, it bled. Memories came and went, the blur of them twisting her mind in every direction and weighing on her chest. The only reality she knew was that she was alone. Her tears became hotter as they streamed down. She was angry, and so, so lost.

The darkness wasn’t coming quick enough to take her away from this nightmare.

It claimed her eventually, but not until Edelgard’s body went completely cold, her tears ran dry, and the dusk had finally settled.

***

“Shhh, it’s just a nightmare, my love. Wake up,” a voice cooed at her softly.

Byleth felt her eyes open and it was still dark, save for the faint glow of moonlight. She felt the soft bed beneath her and even softer sheets around her, a gentle caress against her cheek. She blearily searched for the touch, her palm resting against the hand on her face.

“There you are.”

“Edelgard?” Byleth whispered, shuddering.

“It’s me, I’m here,” Edelgard whispered back, combing back some of Byleth’s slate blue tresses, hoping to calm her from her nervous state. “Are you alright? Was it a bad dream?”

Byleth didn’t reply, instead trailing her finger tips from the back of Edelgard’s hand, up the smooth skin of her arm, and entangling into her white hair that felt like silk spilling into her palm. Her thumb brushed against her temple, watching Edelgard’s eyes soften at her touch. Soon she reached for Byleth’s hand, kissing her palm with a brush of her lips.

Byleth continued to look at her in a state of wonder, the night sky glowing against Edelgard’s skin, looking more ethereal than the Goddess herself.

Edelgard laced their fingers together, giving another kiss to their joined hands. “You can tell me anything.”

Byleth sighed shakily, her eyes drifting about the room. She saw the armor stands by the door that hung Edelgard’s regalia and one set she couldn’t recognize, decorated with hues of blue, gray, and gold. Two ornate crowns nestled upon the top, thin and light, but intricate. Her sword and a fishing rod laid idly against the wall, below an axe that rested on two hinges. She could see a dresser, one side neatly closed and the other side haphazardly spewing with clothes that didn’t quite get folded all the way. And finally, on the desk, leaves of parchment were askew with ink but what caught her eye in particular was a small portrait. In the dark she could make out the smiles, of herself and Edelgard in each other’s arms.

It made her look down on her hands, catching the glint of gold with jeweled red on her left ring finger.

The tears welled up in her eyes again. It was perfect.

With a surge of pure need, she pulled Edelgard into a deep kiss, breathing deeply through her nose as if taking it all in. Her palms found her cheeks, keeping her close, desperate to stay little longer as her lips continued to slide over hers. They would pull away and sigh gently, noses brushing, before chasing after one another once again.

It was too perfect.

Byleth felt her tears fall and then, Edelgard pulled away, her thumb swiping at the streams.

“Byleth, why are you crying?” she asked gently, worry lacing the soft timbre.

The tears just fell faster now as she gripped onto Edelgard’s shirt, her ring catching the moonlight in its fullest.

“This isn’t real,” Byleth whimpered, grip tightening. “Is it?”

And if she had a heart she could actually feel, she was sure it would’ve broken clean in half at the sight of Edelgard’s sad smile. She reached for her and brought Byleth into an embrace, burying her face into the crook of her neck. Byleth just held her there, hoping if she held on tight enough, whatever memory or dream this was, would be the one to stay.

“I miss you,” Edelgard mumbled into her skin.

Byleth knew two things then. She knew it would never stay this way. And yet, she knew this was the only part that was real.

“I miss you too.”

***

_You… how long do you intend to sleep?_

_Like so much rain, a pool of blood has fallen to the ground… As spears and arrows pierce the earth, it weeps. And even now… it weeps._

_They weep as well._

Byleth felt a chill that rattled her bones. Her eyes opened to a melancholy gray sky, the sound of a steady water in her ears. She sputtered and coughed at a surge of water unexpectedly splashing against her face, realizing she was floating. She caught a boulder’s surface and hauled herself to the river’s edge, drawing a heavy breath.

She took a moment to examine herself, her coat completely seeped through. She discarded it to the side for now, noticing her sword still attached to the guard on her hip. She flexed her cold fingers in front of her, anxious that blood would suddenly appear to coat her palms. It never came and she nearly sighed in relief.

“Hey, are you alright?”

Byleth jumped, whirling around, unsheathing her sword in the same fluid motion. The villager stared down her blade with his hands up in fear.

“H-Hey, I’m not here to hurt you! I just saw you floating down the river and I was seeing if you’re okay,” he said nervously. “It’s not a sight you see every day.”

Byleth lowered her sword at the sight of seeing him sweat profusely. “Where am I?”

“Near a village, just at the base of the monastery. Though I wouldn’t call it a monastery anymore, really.”

“Why is that?”

He looked at her puzzled. “The Church of Seiros isn’t there anymore, it’s abandoned. Though the Imperial army has taken it over now.”

_The Imperial army?_

“…What year is it?” Byleth asked tentatively.

“Did you hit your head in the river or something? It’s the Ethereal Moon, year 1185. It’s been 5 years since the monastery fell. Tomorrow is supposed to be the millennium festival but…”

Byleth didn’t wait for him to finish, instead reaching for her coat, and following the river upstream. She could feel him calling out behind her, warning her that she would find nothing there but trouble. To be quite honest, she didn’t know what she would find there – whether this was real or another long abyssal dream.

She felt as though she remembered Edelgard promising her something, something that felt like promises of coming home.

When she came upon the monastery, she saw the familiar red and gold banners, seeing the palace behind her eye lids. She tensed, deciding it was best if she snuck in, anxious of the things she would encounter – another beast, another dead emperor, or another girl she couldn’t hold onto.

Her legs carried her to the Goddess Tower, skimming the stone walls with her fingertips as she climbed the stairs. The sun shined through the balcony and shone down on a lonely emperor, clad in her crown and regalia. Byleth barely breathed when she reached the final step into the room, fearing anything that would whisk this image away. Just Edelgard, standing tall.

“Halt! Who’s there?”

Byleth took a step forward, blinking once, but still Edelgard remained. And when she turned, her lilac eyes widened in astonishment.

“It can’t be. Professor?” Edelgard gasped, reaching toward her. “Is it really you? But I searched for you everywhere and never found a trace! My teacher, what have you been doing all this time, where have you been?”

Byleth winced, not knowing what to say. She didn’t know where she had been or what she had been doing, because the memories, or dreams, or nightmares, or none of those things at all, were real. Standing here face to face with Edelgard, she didn’t know what this moment would become.

Edelgard had come up to her then, gripping her hands gently.

“Professor? Are you well? You’re shaking,” Edelgard asked, her expression softening, a gloved thumb swiping over her knuckles.

“Is… is this real?” Byleth said instead, her head bowed not looking at Edelgard’s face, not willing to face her if she were to disappear again.

Edelgard tipped her head up then, guiding Byleth’s eyes to her own. Edelgard could see a twist of sorrow in her green eyes, yet somehow hollow as well, like she had wandered in shadows and hadn’t seen light in days, or years.

“Yes, it is. Welcome back, Professor,” she embraced her this time, feeling Byleth stiffen. “You’re safe now.”

Byleth’s arms came around her eventually, holding her close. Edelgard would’ve blushed bright crimson had she not seemed to desperate to hold her there. The emperor didn’t know what happened to her professor to act so uncharacteristically, but decided that because she didn’t know, she wouldn’t move away until Byleth felt steady enough to do so.

When she had eventually pulled away, Edelgard could’ve sworn she saw tears at the edges of Byleth’s eyes. It made her carefully guarded heart ache through its walls. She led an army alone with unwavering resolve and it became frustrating to know that this was not a battlefield she knew how to navigate.

Instead, she told her the stories of all that transpired in her slumber – hoping, that maybe, these events would tie Byleth back to their world and truly bring her home.

***

From anyone’s point of view, Byleth seamlessly fell into her role as a commander leading the imperial army. Her tactical mind and prowess seemingly left unchanged, gracing some of the Black Eagles with a reminder of who she was after all these years, in the form of intense spars and training sessions.

It was a breath of fresh air to the tinge of blood that seemed to permeate the air of war.

Yet Edelgard knew the Professor that had returned, was not the same one that had left her.

During the war councils she would catch moments where Byleth was looking at her own hands, clenching them into fists. And then she would simply look at her but she wasn’t focused on Edelgard’s face. Her mind seemed to be elsewhere and she would always blink and rub at her eyes before becoming present once again.

And what was most peculiar was something Dorothea told her when she had seen her walking through the halls with a small elegant wooden box in her hands.

“Another gift, Dorothea?”

Dorothea chuckled softly. “No, nothing like that. The Professor had Bern sew her some gloves, I’m just bringing it to her.”

_Gloves?_

Edelgard decided not to push, bidding Dorothea to continue what she was doing. She had to focus on the battle ahead, one that would surely change the tides of this war with the Professor back in their ranks.

And when that battle came, she was right.

The Black Eagle Strike Force had cut a bloody path through the Great Bridge of Myrrdin with ease, Byleth’s strategies playing out in spades. They secured the ballista on the far end of the bridge and inevitably cut off all hopes of escape for the Alliance troops. Edelgard was met with several soldiers in her path, striking them down with a flourishing whirl of her axe, feeling the blood spatter on her face. She paid no heed to it or their faces as they fell, learning long ago it was simply easier this way. This was a battlefield she knew.

And on the corner of her eye, she watched as Byleth charge forward alone after Judith von Daphnel, the Sword of the Creator glowing bright in her black gloved hands. Several armored troops had tried to thwart her path and with devastating grace, she slid her blade through their defenses, not pausing to watch them crumple. Petra had let an arrow loose that connected with Judith’s shoulder, causing her to stumble and fall to Byleth’s blade.

When their leader had fallen, all went silent on the bridge.

“Throw your arms down and surrender! There is no need for further bloodshed on this day!” Edelgard shouted into the air, striking her axe pommel into the ground. The clang of weapons hit the ground from the remaining Alliance troops and the Empire had their resounding victory. There were cheers from the Black Eagles, relief that the deadlock was finally broken.

One person wasn’t sharing in the victory and instead, still standing above the fallen Daphnel warrior, her fingers flexing beneath her gloves. Edelgard came up to her, carefully, wary of surprising her from whatever thoughts she was sunk in.

“Professor?”

Byleth turned to her then, eyes widening in recognition and something else Edelgard couldn’t place. She soon felt a clothed palm on her bloody cheek, a thumb caressing her cheekbones. Edelgard felt her face warm beneath her touch.

“Are you hurt?” Byleth whispered, eyes warm.

“No, I’m alright,” Edelgard answered, just as softly. “Are you?”

“…Yes.” she replied, hand falling away to her side.

And Hubert had come up behind them then, reporting that the bridge was completely secure and they could soon advance on Derdriu. Byleth nodded at this information and brushed past them, back towards where the rest of the Strike Force had stood. Hubert furrowed his brow just slightly, the only indication of his concern.

“Is she well?” he asked.

Edelgard sighed to herself. “I wish I knew. But I must give my orders going forward. If you would please, inform her to meet me at the Goddess Tower upon our return to the monastery.”

“Consider it done, your majesty.”

***

When they had returned to the monastery, it was nearing dusk, the faint hues of orange and violet fluttering through the balcony of the tower. Edelgard stood, watching the clouds drift by until it faded into a blanket of stars. She heard careful footsteps ascend the stairs and waited until she could sense another person’s presence behind her.

“So, you came,” Edelgard said.

“Hubert asked that I come meet you here. Or more so, demanded,” Byleth said dryly.

“That sounds like Hubert,” Edelgard let out a small puff of amusement. “Thank you for coming here.”

“Are you well?”

“I could ask the same of you, Professor.” Edelgard countered, watching a frown tug her lips down.

“I…”

“Can you tell me about the gloves?”

A long silence carried between them, an ache growing in Edelgard’s heart as each second passed. Ever since the day they met, she just wanted to understand the enigma of the woman in front of her. And when she thought she had a grasp on it, it slipped through her fingers when Byleth fell from the cliffside that fateful day five years ago. Despite her grief, she swore that she would smash that vile draconian beast from the sky. It was the only thing she could cling onto when she no longer had Byleth’s hand to guide her down her fated path.

How the tables had turned, Edelgard now reaching out her hand to Byleth to pull her from whatever darkness holding her captive.

“You will surely call me insane,” Byleth admitted finally, walking past Edelgard to gaze at the expanse of the night sky.

“I would never do such a thing. You can tell me anything, Professor,” Edelgard pleaded, coming up beside her. “Let me help you, as you helped me.”

Byleth bowed her head, the tresses of her bangs covering her eyes. “I wear them so I can’t see the blood on my hands. I could see it even when I closed my eyes.”

Edelgard immediately recalled the way Byleth fixated on her hands in war councils. So that’s what it had been.

“And whose blood do you see on your hands?”

Byleth’s knuckles tightened on the stone balcony and Edelgard could see her jaw clench.

“Yours.”

“But you have never harmed me?” Edelgard said, lost.

“Everyone says I’ve been gone for five years. But those five years, I was awake. I lived through different moments, but I don’t know if they were dreams or nightmares or reality. Even now, I don’t know if this is real,” Byleth explained, voice now empty, hoping that if she lacked the emotion it would distance her from her demons. “I spend every second of my days, wondering when this moment will end, and will it end as it always has.”

“How does it end, Professor?”

Byleth turned to face her, taking Edelgard’s hand in her own. Red laced with black and a sardonic smile curved over Byleth’s lips.

“I lose you, Edelgard. Every time. In some moments, it’s your blood on my hands or I watch someone strike you down. In other moments, no matter how tightly I hold onto you, you disappear,” Byleth confessed, squeezing their hands.

Edelgard’s jaw dropped slightly. “My teacher… I had no idea such things plagued you so.”

“This is the longest moment yet, I will admit,” Byleth added. “If I am to be truly honest, I hope I never wake.”

Edelgard was stunned, racking her brain for any sort of answer or comfort to whisk Byleth’s trauma away. For five years, she relived the same moments to the point where all of time became fractured. Byleth didn’t know who or what to trust, fearing that if she had, she would plunge into another pit of despair. It made Edelgard punish herself more for letting Byleth fall that day – maybe if she had been quicker or stronger, she could’ve protected her from this to begin with.

She had two thoughts on how she could maybe make amends. One terrified her to death and would take time. But she could offer Byleth this much. Edelgard took Byleth’s other hand, stepping closer into her space. Byleth tensed and Edelgard held her steady.

“I promise you this is real,” Edelgard whispered, touching her forehead gently to the side of Byleth’s jaw. “I can prove it to you.”

“How?”

“You can start by calling me, El. There’s no one left who calls me that,” Edelgard replied, a tinge of sadness to her tone. “With you, it would mean a great deal to me.”

“El…” Byleth sighed against her cheek.

Edelgard blushed at Byleth’s voice that seemed to cradle the nickname as if it had been precious. She thanked the cover of night to dim her glowing cheeks.

“If you still don’t believe this is real… there’s one more thing I will reveal to you in time. But you must promise me something, first.”

“What is it?”

Edelgard looked up at her, capturing her blue eyes filled with wonder. She decided to take it as a sign of hope.

“Fight by my side until the end. Put your faith in this, in me, just one more time.”

Byleth didn’t answer right away, fighting an internal battle of her own. Her eyes showed her drifting elsewhere and Edelgard pulled her right back, now cupping her cheek just as Byleth had on the bridge. The storm had cleared, leaving ocean blue.

“Please, Byleth.”

That was the deal breaker. “I promise, El.”

***

The Tailtean Plains were vast and to make things worse, a storm had brewed, flooding the plains and drenching the troops on both sides. Edelgard and Byleth stood at the head of the army, the strike force just behind them. Byleth had kept her word, fighting relentlessly at Edelgard’s side, bringing the fall of the Alliance and the defenses of the Kingdom at Arianrrhod. Some days Byleth would show semblances of her old self, full of dry humor, oblivious nature, and quiet confidence in her leadership and in battle. And on the harder days, she would withdraw on herself, lost in her own thoughts, her nervous ticks returning in forms of flexing her gloved hands and rubbing at them as if to wipe something away, and blinking rapidly before her eyes came back into focus.

But she kept her promise regardless, letting Edelgard know that just before they left for battle.

“I will protect you, El.”

Edelgard smirked, bemused to hide her shyness. “Don’t go getting yourself killed to protect me. We see this through to the end, together.”

Byleth nodded in return and that was enough.

Edelgard felt the heat of buzzing of magic at her back, preparing to launch as soon as the Kingdom troops came into view through the heavy-laden fog. Edelgard’s gaze focused on a lance that glowed bright red through the dark and readied her own weapon. Byleth held up her hand and then pointed forward.

“Now!”

And as if the heavens obeyed them, casts of lightning fell from the sky, striking the earth and some of the opposing troops, sending up a wall of smoke. Chaos broke loose then as the Imperial army charged forward, the cover of smoke allowing them to push harder onto their enemies. Edelgard felt her steps getting heavier and heavier with the onslaught of rain and the mud clinging to her feet, but still she cleaved through their lines.

Out of the rain she saw the glowing lance aim to pierce through her head, to which she parried with a shield block and a diagonal swing of her axe, missing Dimitri’s neck by mere inches. The two stood opposed as if a circle had cleared around them just for this moment. Dimitri’s blonde hair though splayed messily did not cover the rage in his eyes.

“Must you continue to conquer? Continue to kill?” he barked.

Edelgard remained unimpressed. “Must you continue to reconquer? Continue to kill in retaliation? I will not stop, there is nothing I would not sacrifice to cut a path to Fódlan’s new dawn.”

“Stop with this madness, Edelgard! Your future is built on a foundation of corpses and tears!”

She knew her reasoning would never reach him, his delusions too far gone. “You can’t stop me.”

And they clashed again, Dimitri’s strength rattling her shield with his lance and her fervor causing him to think of every step he made to not risk being run through by the swinging arcs. They continued on like this as the rage of battle surrounded them. His lance barely missed her head, instead grazing her cheek. She repaid the favor by gouging through his side, causing the king to stumble back in pain and onto his knees, the blood oozing from the wound. She showed him no mercy on his disadvantage, only pausing for a moment before she gave a final swing through his ribcage.

“Farewell, Dimitri…”

And in that moment, a loud roar pierced the storm and everyone paused to watch as a few soldiers had a shadowy mist drift from their bodies, morphing into colossal demonic beasts. Edelgard ground her jaw in frustration, she should’ve known the king’s lapdog would go to such drastic measures to see her fall.

And as if the demonic beast had a mind of its own, the one that had spawned from Dedue made its way towards her before the strike force could regroup. She ducked under the frontal swing of its claws and swung her axe in an upwards arc, connecting with its arm. The beast howled in pain and with incredible speed, whirled its body around and struck Edelgard square in the stomach with its large tail, sending her flying across the plains.

She skidded and rolled as she connected with the ground, losing her axe and shield in the process, coughing and heaving for breath. She shakily reached down, noting the amount of blood around her abdomen on her fingers when she pulled away. Her breaths were shallow as she laid there, slumped, forced to look on at the battle ahead, the army now converging on the thrashing beasts.

She felt someone pick her up gently from the ground and through the rain she saw Byleth, cradling her in her lap, a hand over her stomach with a gentle white glow. She felt warmer now and the pain subsided slowly, leaving a dull ache as the wound closed. Not completely but enough to stop the bleeding for now. With the rain on Byleth’s face, she couldn’t tell if those were tears, but the way her lip trembled told her the truth.

“El, you have to keep your eyes open.”

“You… you have to help the others. Those beasts, they need to be put down,” Edelgard argued weakly, strength sapped away.

“I won’t let you go,” Byleth replied, holding to her tightly, terrified of it going dark. They had fought for so long, this couldn’t be it. “I was starting to believe.”

Edelgard smiled weakly at her, eyelids feeling so much heavier. With whatever strength she could muster, she held Byleth’s hand and squeezed as hard as she could. Her eyes eventually closed and her hold weakened. Byleth held her breath and waited for the void to take her away. But it never came as the rain stopped and, in the distance, the last beast fell. The emperor laid still and Byleth could still see the faint rise and fall of her chest. She could hear the trudging of footsteps approaching and then she was surrounded by the strike force, their mouths formed into grim lines, afraid to ask the worst.

“I healed her through most of it,” Byleth said weakly. “We should get back to the monastery as quickly as possible.”

Their shoulders sagged with relief and they followed her orders. Byleth lifted Edelgard gently and carried her to the wagon, letting Ferdinand and Hubert guide the horses at the front.

“We’re going home, El,” she said softly, as the sunlight pierced through the clouds, and shined on their journey back.

***

Edelgard winced as the bright sun shined down on her face through the windows of the infirmary. She blinked several times, her blurred vision slowly becoming clearer as she took in the state of herself. She was dressed down to a long-sleeved cotton slip, a couple bandages wrapped around her palms from the scrapes, and a square patch on her cheek from her lance wound. Reflexively, she leaned on her elbows and tried to rise up from the bed, hissing at the dull ache in her stomach.

“You shouldn’t strain yourself.”

Edelgard’s head perked up immediately, following the voice to her left, finding Byleth stretching from the chair she sat in by the window. It looked as though she hadn’t left, her armor and coat looking a little tattered from the battle and green hair still slightly matted from the rain. Byleth pulled her chair closer to the bed and took Edelgard’s hand in her own.

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

“I’m alright, just a bit of dull pain in my abdomen,” Edelgard assured, squeezing their hands.

“You really scared me, El,” Byleth confessed, a deep frown on her face. “I thought…” and she didn’t dare finish.

“I’m here with you,” Edelgard consoled. “We walk this path together, remember? To the end.”

Byleth nodded solemnly, running the pad of her thumb over the bandages. Edelgard eyed the black gloves covering her hands and took a deep breath to steel her resolve.

“Byleth, I wish to show you something. I fear you may… think differently of me.”

“What is it?”

“I told you I’d reveal it to you, but I was too afraid then. I wanted to comfort you and show you this wasn’t a dream, and the things I feel for you, are real. But I didn’t want to feel vulnerable when so many things were uncertain. Perhaps now, so close to the end, I can muster the courage to be brave when you have been nothing but.”

Byleth didn’t push and waited patiently. Her fingers trembling, Edelgard pulled her hand away from Byleth’s hold and went to push up the sleeves of the cotton slip. Byleth’s eyes widened as an array of scars scattered over pale skin, some angry from battle and some too precise to be earned by a conventional weapon. And she nearly throttled herself for forgetting such a thing.

_They violated our bodies by cutting open our very flesh._

Byleth felt anger then sadness, watching Edelgard’s hands shake in her lap. And if Byleth wasn’t astonished already, she was even more so when Edelgard gently reached for her hands, and slowly began to pull the gloves off. The emperor looked at her tenderly, rooting the mercenary into a calm state as the cloth came off inch by inch. Then Edelgard guided her bare hands to her arms, letting Byleth smooth her hands over her skin, tracing her scars lightly.

“Do you understand? _This_ is who I really am,” Edelgard murmured. “You’re here with me, and this moment won’t end. Nothing will take me from your side, I swear it.”

Byleth took in this display of trust. After so long, human touch felt foreign and yet this felt perfect. Maybe it was because the sun was still shining, not a shadow in sight, or for the first time, she didn’t see blood on her hands. She only saw Edelgard, beautiful beneath the sunlight, snowy rivers of her hair framing her face. Beneath the regalia and without the crown, this was El, purest and simple.

And in this moment, she never felt so certain.

Byleth came closer, leaning their foreheads together, not missing the blush on Edelgard’s cheeks. It made her smile, the biggest she had in years. She buried one hand into the tresses at the base of her neck and leaned in for a gentle kiss. Dreams could never compare to the softness she felt there, to the blanket of warmth that had curled around them. Edelgard’s bare fingertips on her cheekbones, pulling her closer, lit her chest aflame. It was a simple kiss but they still smiled against each other’s lips.

Byleth pulled a breath away, looking directly into Edelgard’s eyes. She only found light there, sparkling with love and childlike wonder. She pecked her lips once more and whispered.

“I missed you, El.”

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I've written angst! It was a hell of thing to write. Possible sequel? Who knows - but you all can let me know if you want one. :3 
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed! Thank you for reading <3 Follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/EdelgardEisner) for updates!


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